our easter didn't go as planned. we missed the easter egg hunt, visit with the easter bunny, and easter pot luck with holden's baby friends. while i envisioned photos of holden's first easter, his perfect easter outfit, pink and white bunny ears perched atop his head, pastel colored eggs caught in his tiny grasp, none of this happened. we've had a cold outbreak ravaging our house this past week and we spent easter sunday laying in bed feeling miserable. i spent forever dreaming up the perfect easter basket, struggling to throw together a non-traditional basket that would work for a 7 month old, and i'm disappointed i wasn't able to pull it all together so i thought i'd share holden's virtual easter basket.
it all started with my awakening to a slightly sore throat last tuesday that morphed into a full-on, nasty cold by the weekend. i thought that my breastmilk might save holden from infection (i was under the impression that breastfed babies never got sick), but it didn't and holden woke up from his afternoon nap on saturday burning up with a fever. holden's first real cold. it's heartbreaking to watch him writhe and moan in pain, eyes red and watering, nose oozing and dripping, completely miserable and suffering. all i want is to make him feel better, to take his pain away, but i can't so i hold him close against me, rock him back and forth, stroke his head, and whisper sweet nothings into his ear. he needs me now more than ever before, not wanting me to leave his side even for a second, and i'm finding myself treasuring this newfound clingy-ness, appreciating his urgent demand for me to be beside him. as i've laid him down each night, trying to stealthily steal away to eat my dinner and spend time with my husband, his small hands reach out in the darkness, latching onto a piece of my clothing and not letting go. one hand cups my arm, the other tracing my face as he settles back into a peaceful slumber with the knowledge that i am by his side. i've found myself relishing in his neediness these past few days, my wild child suddenly subdued enough to enjoy hours of cuddling and quiet time with mama.