A LITTLE BUG.

 

on monday, i was struck down with the stomach flu or possibly food poisoning.  we attended a cinco de mayo party hosted by one of the mama's in holden's playgroup and it seems that half of the people at the party were afflicted by the same thing.

i woke up feeling nauseas and of course my first thought was omg, i'm a pregnant.  i started counting the months to see how far apart holden and the new baby would be, figured the baby must be a girl because i never experienced morning sickness with holden, and started worrying that i was going to experience horrible nausea throughout this entire pregnancy...and then i started feeling worse and worse and realized it was not pregnancy, but a stomach virus.  can't really tell you if i was disappointed or relieved.  dustin left work early and came to my rescue, scooping up the little man and taking over for the entire day.  i got into bed at 2:00 pm and didn't emerge until 6:30 pm and you know what, i think that was the single longest period of time that the boys have spent together alone.  which is odd since holden is now eight months old and the fact that he hasn't spent four and half hours alone with his father is kind of absurd.  if you can't tell, i have the teeny tiniest problem with letting go.  

since i still hadn't fully recovered yesterday, dustin stayed home from work again and took care of holden.  he did all of the heavy lifting, diaper changes, feedings (of solids), playing, etc., and i could tell that these two days made them closer, made for a stronger bond between father and son, and is something that needs to happen a lot more often than it has been.  while i selfishly want to spend every minute with dustin out of the two days that he is home for the week, i think that i need to start letting go and letting holden and him have some alone time.