suddenly, it feels as though everyone around me is pregnant and i feel an enormous sense of nostalgia, longing, and dare i say, even a stab of jealousy. ever since being pregnant with holden, i've always gotten a slight heartache when i see pregnant people, coveting to be in their shoes. but then i'll look at holden and realize with a smile i have a baby and go on with my day. but then last week, several mamas in holden's playgroup announced they were pregnant, mamas with children the same age as holden, and i found myself frantically thinking is it that time already? is this about the time that you have the next child?, my mind immediately racing with worry about timelines and age difference. and as i congratulated them and excitedly asked about ideas for names, i had to stop myself from impulsively shouting waaaait, i want to be pregnant too! i think there is just something about pregnant women that makes other (non-pregnant) women a little crazy.
i immediately texted dustin (presuming somewhere in the back of my mind that he would say something along the lines of if everyone is getting pregnant now i guess we should start trying now too): omg....so-and-so and so-and-so and so-and-so are pregnant!
dustin's reponse: cool...
me: can you believe it?!?
dustin: ya. that's cool.
and while two seconds before the text i thought it was the most insane thing ever that multiple people in my playgroup got pregnant around the same time which must mean that it's time (to have another baby), there is nothing like a man's logic to make you realize that you are being slightly crazy. because despite a few pregnancy announcements causing a mild case of baby fever, our little family of three is happy and content at the moment and in actuality, i don't truly feel ready for another addition to our family. i selfishly want to give every ounce of my attention to holden and i'm not quite ready to give any of that up.
(...but i'll let you know how i feel after next playgroup).