mornings around our house these days
sometimes i wish i had a camera crew following my every move. not to share with the world, but for my eyes only. so that years later i can sink into all of these moments, return to them, revisiting the sounds and the smells, experiencing the feeling and mood, reliving the moment in it's entirety instead of scrapping together the bits and pieces my memory has held onto.
it's so silly, but i already feel those early memories of holden slipping away. those moments when i took a few extra seconds to will my mind to etch them deep into my memory, store them in a special place where they would never be forgotten and yet, upon reaching for them i'm coming up empty-handed.
holden is such a little wild child, a constant ball of energy that has my attention and focus 99% of every day and i find that the continuous whirlwind of activity makes it hard to even remember what we did that morning or even the hour before. time moves fast when you have a child, you brain and memory unable to keep up, not able to capture every second, every detail no matter how hard you wish.
my mom didn't see holden for a week (which is a long time for them to be apart) and after reuniting with him last night, she said "he looks different. he's grown. he's all grown up." he grew up in a week and i didn't even notice.
so i've decided the only logical thing to do is to invest in a camera crew (remember that guy in along came polly who hired his own camera crew) who will follow holden and i around on a daily basis so that after he goes to bed each night, i can sit on the couch and see what we really did that day.
ok, not really...but it would be kind of nice.