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who what wear love t-shirt (sold out) and the maxi skirt is a sample for a project i am working on and will be for sale soon

never in my life had i been a "let's just wait and see" type of person.  i was a planner and a doer, making lists upon lists upon lists that all formed some sort of plan and then i would diligently go to work to make those plans happen.  but then holden arrived in my life and all of that suddenly changed.  i stopped focusing so much on the future, where my life was going to lead, what i was going to do "with the rest of my life" (something that used to consume my everyday), and began living and focusing on the present.  i stopped doing things that i felt like i should do and concentrated my efforts on the parts of my life that i really loved, honoring the changes in my world without wishing that i felt, looked, acted, loved, or worked any differently. i stopped worrying so much about my life plan, trusting that i would recognize the next steps when they appeared.

and it seems that that big break from all my incessant planning gave me the space to dream and discover what i really wanted out of life.  the end of this month marks holden's second birthday and along with that a big new start for our family.  mr. b and i have been dreaming and planning and staying up into the early hours of the mornings, hoping to create a life that will make us happy.  we have a few different projects we are launching in the next month and will also be moving to a new home although we still have no idea where that home will be.  our future is a little up in the air at the moment (which is somewhat terrifying) but here's to living on faith and trusting in the unknown!



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exactly one week ago today, holden got his cast off and we couldn't be happier.  getting the cast off was a slightly traumatic experience and initially moving those joints again wasn't the easiest, but as we waited for the doctor to come into the room for a final check, holden asked to walk around the room and we knew that everything was going to be ok.  there were so many little things i missed while holden was in the cast...the feeling of him wrapping his legs around me as i carried him, the feeling of hugging him without a cast getting in between us, easily getting dressed in the mornings, the lightness of holden's true body weight...and those first moments of rediscovery were  just so good.  yet in an odd way, the cast coming off was a scary change for me, as i had really just adjusted to life in the cast and now i was going to have learn how to help my little boy learn to walk again.  although holden walked with help immediately after the cast removal, it will still take him a while to learn to walk again and watching my almost-2-year-old crawl or limp around is slightly heartbreaking.  mr. b had taken time off of work for the full duration of holden's time in the cast and i had gotten used to having him home with us.  he went back to work the day after the cast was removed and i missed having the extra help since i am still unable to leave holden's side for even a second (he thinks he can do a lot more than he is able and is constantly attempting to take off across the room on his own which ended in a bad fall last week).  last week was a big adjustment to our new normal, but i am looking forward to and counting down the days when i hear the pitter patter of holden's feet throughout the house again and have a little boy that can run into my arms.



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despite being one of the most touristy parts of san francisco, fisherman's wharf is a great and entertaining place to take a toddler (or at least one that you have to carry).  it almost felt as though we were in another country as we walked through the throngs of people crowding the narrow alleyway, all waiting for their crab or lobster sandwiches that the vendors cooked right there on the street.  we didn't try any of the food, just stopped at each vendor to watch them steam and serve the crabs.  i'm pretty sure we could have spent hours sitting in front of a bucket of crabs on ice as holden seemed to be fascinated with them.  just out back, you can walk along the harbor and check out all of the fishing boats that bring in the fresh fish, crab, and lobster daily.  holden is obsessed with boats at the moment, so visiting boats just so happens to be a favorite past time these days.  we met a friendly sea lion who was waiting patiently behind one of the fishing boats that had just come in, hoping for a few scraps, and spoke with a fisherman about his catch for the day.  we laughed at the seagulls that refused to get out of the street and held up traffic, listened to a band playing on the corner, and stumbled into a museum filled with old arcade games.  this was one of the last cast adventures that we went on and something we probably wouldn't have done if holden wasn't in the cast , thinking it to be too touristy of a place for locals, but a spot we are happy to have seen.