i kind of wish i was that perfect housewife. you know the one that has gourmet meals waiting on the table upon her husband's arrival home from work. the one that goes grocery shopping on a regular basis and always has the refrigerator and pantry stocked with healthy snacks. the one that keeps up with the laundry so that the hamper is never full and the clothes are always folded and put away in their proper place. the one that cleans the house daily so that it is always spotless with no stray toys for you to step on at night. you know, that person? well, 19 months into this whole motherhood thing, i'm still trying to figure out how to juggle it all. i've decided to start trying a little harder on the whole keeping the household together thing (because that always seems to come second to well, everything haha) so yesterday i meal planned, went grocery shopping, cleaned the entire house, finished (and put away!!!) the laundry, and currently have this cooking on the stove. feeling like this just might be the start of a new me.
“If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don’t expose it to the elements. You don’t make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by.” - F. Burton Howard
over the weekend, dustin and i spent the entire day together, without holden, for the first time in 19 months. and in stopping to think about it, we realized that it is kind of a shockingly long time for us not to have an extended amount of alone time together. for months we have said that we should do it, my mom has offered countless times to take holden for weekends, but then the time would come and we'd get excited about a random family outing or decide we were too tired or just not and choose that instead. or we wouldn't have anything specific in mind and decide that it didn't really matter.
but on a whim, we decided it was time. without any planning, without showering, without as much as running a brush through my hair, dustin and i left for the entire afternoon and evening. on saturday, after putting holden down for his nap, we asked my mom if she would watch holden for the rest of the day and of course she eagerly agreed, excited to spend some alone time with her grandson.
with absolutely no plans, we drove into the city and wandered around our old neighborhood. we stopped in at our old house and reminisced on the times we enjoyed there as newlyweds. we walked, we shopped, we talked, we ate, and we remembered that our relationship is the priority.
upon arriving home to see that holden was happy, content, and couldn't stop talking about how much fun he had with grandma, we have decided that it is something we need to do more often. knowing now, that even a few hours to ourselves is important and integral part of maintaining our marriage.
it's gotten to the point where i'm not quite sure if holden is imitating me or i'm imitating holden. the entire day, it's all mmmmm-hmmmms, yaaaaaaas, and ummmmmmms, around here in the exact same intonation and voice. i'm pretty sure between the two of us we use those three expressions more than a million times a day. it's like we've gotten addicted and the number of times we use each one seems to be increasing daily.
what i think initially started as holden imitating me turned into me imitating him back and now our responses to everything are identical.
it's funny the things you realize when you have a child - like the things you say and the way that you say them. hearing my voice come out of a little boy is sometimes hilarious, usually stopping me the first time it happens as i laugh wondering if that's what i sound like to other people.